Wedding Policy

The wedding policy of The Dover Church reflects our values as a welcoming and spiritually nurturing place of worship. While accepting the legal conventions adopted by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts our policy focuses on the spiritual aspects of weddings, not the legal aspects of what weddings and marriage mean.

Marriages last longer and couples achieve greater happiness when the decision to marry is taken seriously, prayerfully and after consideration and consultation of those within one’s community of friends and family. For those reasons, the Board of Deacons has established guidelines for marriages conducted in our church.

1. Weddings celebrated in The Dover Church are worship services, and reflect the celebrant’s authority to act in the name of God. At a minimum, wedding services in the church will thank God for the gift of love, will ask for God’s blessing on the marriage, and will be performed in the name of Christ.

2. The decision of whether to perform a wedding within the church belongs soley to our pastors. Our pastors will follow this wedding policy and we will accept our pastors, judgment on the appropriateness of a wedding and the readiness of a couple for marriage.

3. All couples married in The Dover Church will first receive pre-marital counseling. The church is open to a variety of counseling formats, but it is the couples’ responsibility to see that they have received appropriate counseling.

4. Under certain circumstances, we welcome guest clergy to officiate or co-officiate weddings. When a couple wishes to be married by a clergy person who is not a pastor of this church, our senior pastor will determine, on behalf of the church, whether the wedding meets the standards affirmed by the wedding policy as set forth by the Board of Deacons.

Finally, we recognize that while God’s will for us remains constant, our understanding of that will evolves continually.

The Dover Church Board of Deacons

February, 2009

WEDDINGS AT

The Dover Church

Established 1762

Dear Friends,

Weddings are times of joy and covenant ... and confusion. The joy and the covenant are wonderful and The Dover Church looks forward to sharing it with you. We even look forward to ironing out the confusions! As you begin your journey together, you are joining a long line of couples who have affirmed and shared their commitment to a Christian marriage and to each other since this church’s origins in 1762.

A wedding in this church is first and foremost a service of worship celebrating the presence and blessing of God.

This booklet should help you with many of the questions couples ask us. You will also have your own particular questions and we look forward to helping you find answers.

Congratulations on your wedding!

                                                                        Sincerely,

                                                                        The Dover Church

HISTORY OF THE DOVER CHURCH

The pilgrims and the puritans who settled colonial New England in the 1600’s brought with them their congregational way. It is in this tradition that The Dover Church is rooted. We began as the “Fourth Parish Congregational” of Dedham in 1748 and our first full-time minister, Benjamin Caryl, started serving the church in 1762. In 1784, when Dover became an independent town, the church became known as the First Church in Dover.

After a significant fire, a common occurrence in those days, the current sanctuary was built in 1836. The steeple bell, commissioned in 1836 and cast by George Handal Holbrook, a one-time apprentice to Paul Revere, is still in use today with its original fittings.

During the height of the Unitarian movement in New England, the church divided into the “Evangelical Congregational Church” and the “First Parish, Unitarian”, worshipping across the street from each other for 100 years. After this peaceful separation, the congregations merged in 1938 to form our present parish, The Dover Church.

Today we are an inter-denominational church with primary affiliation with the United Church of Christ and also in standing in the Unitarian Universalist Association.

Many events and changes have taken place over the years, but most recently, in 1993, the church completed a major renovation and expansion of the sanctuary including the installation of a new tracker organ: Opus 107 by CB Fisk of Gloucester, Mass. This renovation has resulted in a Meeting House that maintains its historical integrity and provides a home for a superior musical instrument.

PASTORAL LEADERSHIP

The Dover Church is committed to accommodating those who sincerely wish to be married in our Meeting House. If either party is a member of our church, then the couple may express a preference for a particular pastor and that wish, within limits of schedule and reason, will be met. If neither the bride nor the groom is a member of The Dover Church, then the pastoral leadership for the service is at the discretion of the church staff. The officiating Dover Church pastor will be responsible for and have authority over both the arrangements and the service. For example, the officiating pastor and other Church representatives will assure that the wedding conforms to the style and standards of Dover Church traditions.

The pastor’s services generally include a minimum of three pre-marital counseling sessions, the planning of your service, guidance of the rehearsal and officiating at the wedding.

You may invite other ordained clergy to participate in the service. However, it is especially important to discuss guest clergy participation with The Dover Church before setting arrangements in motion. Dover Church clergy shall normally be the “minister of record” for marriages witnessed in this church. The Dover Church deacons support the right of each pastor to decline to perform a marriage.

Wedding coordinators are appointed by the pastors. The role of the coordinator is to make everyone feel welcome and comfortable, and to facilitate your wedding. The coordinators are trained to handle myriad last minute details. They are seldom overwhelmed and never object to even the slightest of questions.

MUSIC

The church is fortunate to have a superior organ and organist. You should contact our organist now to discuss music. The organist and/or music director is familiar with instrumentalists and vocal soloists should you wish to know how additional musicians may be used.

As is the custom in most churches served by the American Guild of Organists (AGO)  we support the policy that our organist has the right of first refusal for all services in the Dover Church The organist does not attend rehearsals unless invited by the Dover Church pastor. Ultimately all music should be coordinated through the pastoral or music staff of The Dover Church well in advance.

REHEARSAL

The rehearsal is an important preparation for your wedding service. The wedding rehearsal is normally held the day before the wedding. The bride and groom, their parents, and all members of the wedding party should attend. If there is to be a dinner or party, it should be held after the rehearsal.

It is important to arrive promptly at the agreed time. The church schedules one hour for the rehearsal, which is directed by the pastor. At the rehearsal you may be introduced to one of the church wedding coordinators. This person may be present at the ceremony to take care of last minute logistics, the processional, and to help with a smooth running service. The pastor and coordinator will discuss your wishes about how your guests are to be seated and any other pertinent details. Details may include flowers, photographer, handling of children, handicap access, rest rooms, bell ringing, and candle lighting

PROFESSIONAL CONSULTANTS

Because this is a house of worship, the Board of Deacons has requested that all photography and videography be unobtrusive and that no flash photography be used during the wedding service. Please inform your family and friends of this policy. Video cameras are permitted and may be placed in the balcony, in back of the church, or in the pews on either side of the chancel. Only the lighting already available in the church may be used. We understand the importance that married couples place upon the preservation of their wedding day in photographs. Our church wedding coordinator will work closely and cooperatively with your photographer the day of your wedding.

Please communicate to your photographer that under no circumstances are photographers/videographers to move around the church or interfere with the flow of liturgical action during the service, the processional and the recessional. Our church has lively acoustics and ALL camera noise is clearly audible. Please advise your photographer of the expected attire of the wedding guests, so that they may dress appropriately.

The church wedding coordinators assume responsibility for all wedding rehearsals and services at the Dover Church. Because of their many years of experience with weeding services and the quirks of the 1836 Meeting House and its surrounding campus, they are more than qualified to handle situations with efficiency and goodwill.

Sometimes couples hire a professional wedding planner to help facilitate the events of their wedding. If this is your choice, it is especially important that the planner be conversant with the particulars of this booklet and that contact is made with the wedding coordinators at the church well in advance of the rehearsal. 

 DRESSING ARRANGEMENTS

You are welcome to change into your wedding clothes at the church. We have a private library complete with air conditioning in the summer and a cozy fire in the winter. Our two rest rooms are handicap accessible.

FLOWERS

Flowers can adorn the church in many ways. A single flower arrangement is traditional and appropriate on the altar table. Additional arrangements can be put on the sanctuary window sills and in the narthex. Over the years some couples have chosen to provide some form of pew marker, either ribbon or flowers for the pews which are to be reserved for the families. The wedding coordinators will be happy to discuss further ideas with you.

Please let the church wedding coordinator know the name and phone number of your florist at the wedding rehearsal in case of a delivery difficulty on the wedding day. Flowers should be delivered one hour before the service.

PROGRAMS AND PRINTED MATERIAL

Providing an Order of Service often makes guests feel welcome and comfortable. The church administrator will gladly provide an illustration of the church if you choose to use it on your Order of Worship. Your printer may offer suggestions as to placement and size.

Guest Books may be placed on the stands in the narthex. Directions to the Reception may be made available here as well.

We reserve the right of final approval for any printed material used at the Meeting House.

CANDLES AND RINGING THE BELL

Altar candles are provided by the church. The altar candle sticks provided by the church are either brass or silver.

The Holbrook Bell, cast in 1836, is still in its original fittings. As much as we invite its use at weddings, some care must be exercised. We ask that you discuss ringing the bell with either the pastor or wedding coordinator.

AISLE RUNNERS

Aisle runners don’t work well in our antique narrow aisles. We do not recommend them.

RECEIVING LINE AND RECEPTION

We can arrange to have a receiving line in the Taylor Garden or sanctuary if you choose. Please plan this at the wedding rehearsal with the pastor or wedding coordinator.

Receptions may be held at the church either in the Taylor Garden or in Kraft Hall. Reservations should be made in advance to assure availability.

SEXTON

The sexton’s duties include the opening of all church buildings, preparation and cleaning of all areas inside and out, and cleaning up and closing of all buildings.

PARKING

Parking is free and plentiful. There are two lots. One is on the church level and the other is below, connected by a shady walkway.

Limousines may park out in front of the church as long as they respect the entrance and exit signs. Please respect all No Parking and Handicap Parking signs. More than 250 guests will necessitate police supervision at your expense.

THE MARRIAGE LICENSE

A marriage license may be obtained from the Clerk of any city or town in the Commonwealth. Marriage licenses are valid for 60 days from the date you file your intentions. A blood test is required and may be dated within one month of the filing date. Both parties must be 18 years of age or older, and each must present a valid driver’s license or birth certificate. There is a minimum 3-day waiting period between your filing and being granted a license.

The license should be given to the pastor no later than the time of the rehearsal. The pastor will complete the form and return it to the town or city. You will be given a church certificate of marriage. If you desire copies of the municipal certificate as well, this must be arranged with the town clerk.

The church office can give you a copy of the pamphlet, “How to Obtain a Marriage License in Massachusetts.” You may also get one at most town or city offices, or on line at http://www.state.ma.us/sec/cis/cismrg/mrgidx.htm.

Please discuss all fees with the pastor at the first meeting. The pastor can help you manage wedding costs and is more than willing to talk with you about this.

* * * * * * *

We extend our very best wishes as you plan for your marriage ceremony. Please don’t hesitate to call us. We’re here to help make your wedding a special celebration.

God bless you both.